Source: Depresionals

I kept berating myself every time my mind starts to ruin my day by making a past scenario. It feels so nauseous facing an unstable mental just because of a pseudo matter that most people call "Memory". There was a moment when I was so determined to ask God to skip the time in order to let the slipped scenarios being evaporated easily. Otherwise, I was sincerely asking the grace to empower myself during my wrestle with the proliferation of thoughts.

Our Mind is Unique

It is kinda clear in my mind the moment when my lecturer told me the so-called memorizing tips. She said that, essentially, memorizing will be easier when we consciously understand it is something useful or when we put emotion into it. Emotion and memory are such a panacea to memorize things easily. Just bring me the strongest memory of yours so I will be able to mention what's your emotion that's sheathing it.

One thing that needs to be instilled is that memory is not always in a term of joy but also sadness. Both excitement and misery work perfectly with the memory. It won't become an issue when the memorized memory is a matter that you are willing to be memorized. Otherwise, you will be in suffer when you unconsciously memorize things that it merely brings you trauma. In another word, it tries to solder not only a piece of memory but also a glimpse of misery into yourself. 

I have been in this situation lately. Ehm, not as "lately" as you think. It took almost three years for the memory to be soldered with me; even until now. As I aforementioned between kind of joy and sadness emotion, I am not lucky enough to be destined with the latter one. It was full of regrets, hate, trauma, and also desperation. Those mixed feelings and emotions become a combo to bombard me in the past three years. 

The Easiest Way to Forget is By Stop Making a Memory

It is so funny to know the fact that we've been taught about how to memorize things but not about how to forget things. There are plenty of ideas about how to instill a matter and hope it will stay for a long time inside of our minds. But people rarely talk about the notion of deleting memory that's been stored. Unlike the delete button on our keyboard that will always remain there, there is no such kind of that feature in our mind to grant these issues. Our mind is the strongest organ that has the power to unconsciously store any information, even without our concerns. 

I have a radical thought that was suddenly popped up during my bottom rock. That, the easiest way to forget things is by stopping making a memory. It sounds simple but brutally hard to perform. Believing in this idea means we need to put our concerns in the very first place for every situation. We need to be aware of any circumstances that potentially make a memory. Especially when it comes alongside the flourishing emotions. Let's train ourselves to be more sensitive to make a mark as in a red flag for every situation that's potentially threatening. We are making a wall of ignorance as a border to strengthen our minds to not start memorizing. 

But believe me that it won't be taken for granted. At least for a short period. We need to battle with our ego by putting our desire aside so we can be more aware of every sign. I don't want to involve you in a procedural thingy, but here is the  "formula" that you might try. You'd need a reality check for every situation you're facing. You can consider the risk and the cost that you might need to pay before you allow those memories to enter your mind. Just ask these questions: 1) Do they really important or significant to my life, 2) Are they really sincere? 3)Are they deserved enough to get my good treat?, 4) Am I ready to be hurt?, 5) Am I capable enough to let things go when I put myself on suffer? 

Just count how many "No" you got from those questions. Once it is full of "No(s)" so you need to reconsider granting the memory in. There are many more questions that you can ask yourself. Here is the point, you need to be mindful and in a state full of consideration because there is no turning back after you put yourself on the line. Because at the end of the day, you are the only one who will lift yourself from that cliff of misery. 

Our mind is so powerful, once memory is stored it is kinda hard to forget. Please be kind and wise to it.

Dealing; not Forgetting

Many people are struggling to deal with memory. It is kinda has a similarity with "move on" issues. I couldn't agree more with that because both have a problem with letting things go. But dealing with this issue, especially our bad memory; is not always about forgetting. I start noticing that once it is already happened (read: memory is stored already) the best way to deal is not forgetting but accepting. Aside from the fact that we have no delete mechanism inside our minds, it is because for some reason they also give us lessons. 

Acceptance is the key. I never said that it will be easy. I am pretty sure that you will be in a state full of denial and desperation during the process. It will be kinda like a self battle to find an answer about why should I forgive or accept the memory to remain there. The period might vary for some people too. Because we will never know how deep the memory had dug into our brain and do a proliferation. 

It also reminds me of the concept of an overlapping memory. Acceptance will help us to make another good memory so it won't let the bad one arise. Making a good memory will help us to value our life even more. Believe me, that time never heals us but helps us to be used to face the misery itself. By that time, we will understand which one is paramount so we can consider that the old one has nothing to do with ourselves. In the end, it won't affect us in meaningful ways anymore.

Dear anyone who's reading this, I wish you a warm day and a tender heart. I might don't know you in person, but I sincerely want to say that you deserve the happiness that exists in this entire universe. For Sure.

*Writer is not mastering English as his first language therefore some unexpected mistakes may exist. Feel free to give some comments and advice for better writing.